A Blissful Life 8/13/24: Compare, Despair

Do you ever compare yourself to others? There are two main types of social comparison: downward social comparison, where a person compares themselves to people who are worse off or less proficient than they are as a means to feel better about themselves, and upward social comparison, where a person compares themselves to others who they perceive as better off than they are, which leads to a feeling of dissatisfaction. While downward social comparison may leave you feeling better short-term, studies are showing that both of these types of social comparison create an overall decreased sense of wellbeing. This is because people who make any kind of frequent social comparison are relying on external standards against which to judge themselves. Their sense of self-worth is based, not on their own inner standards, but rather on who they are measuring themselves against and how their own abilities, performance, and other attributes match up.

If in reflecting you realize that you compare yourself to others, do not beat yourself up. Instead, be grateful for this new found awareness and begin to work on fostering change. After all, in a world that rotates around social media, it can be easy to consciously or subconsciously compare yourself to whoever you are scrolling past.

Here’s the thing: we are all unique creative beings here for different reasons, and each of our perfection is different. It can be incredibly inspiring to see someone on fire, living their truth. Instead of letting another person’s success make you feel bad about yourself (lack mentality), cheer them on and let their prosperity open your mind to the infinite possibilities that exist. There is enough to go around for everybody, and if it can happen for them, it can happen for you!

So, yes– look up to people, admire them, cheer them on, watch them model a way, and then reel it back home to yourself trusting that your path and your way of doing things will be completely yours and equally as beautiful. Experiment with different things that catch your eye and notice what feels true and what does not. Be yourself in the act of testing new ways, as opposed to trying to be the person who you learned them from.

As I wrote earlier, we are all so unique– from our genetic makeups, to our environments, to our personalities, to where we are in life– and this makes each of our journeys and expressions equally as unique. We are here to be in our bodies, and in doing that we find wholeness and feel purposeful. As you explore and see others living their masterpieces, be inspired. You can copy as part of the learning process, and then throw everything out the window, trusting what is inside of you. Mastery comes from within.

Comparing ourselves to others takes us out of our bodies, as our attention is in the mind focused on another person and whether or not we match up to them. This makes our light dim and system fragile. Anytime you find yourself socially comparing, I suggest you do things to bring yourself back to your body. Let your mind find your breath and trace its path in and out of the body, do something physical, go out in nature, listen to great music, laugh with a friend... If you find yourself comparing on the yoga mat, try closing your eyes during parts of the practice and instead of looking around to see what comes next, listen to the verbal cues of the teacher and trust what you hear. Actually, this is why we do not have mirrors at Ocean Bliss Yoga– so that you, as the student, can stay in your body and have your practice.

I invite you to join us at Ocean Bliss Yoga for yoga classes, Pilates classes, and workshops! Next Wednesday, August 21st, I will be holding a Cleansing Salt Sound Bath at 7pm. Sign up for all of our offerings at oceanblissyoga.net. Contact me with any questions, comments, or to inquire about private and semi-private instruction at 917-318-1168.